Children who wet their beds need to learn that they have control over their brain and their bladder.
Talk to your child and explain a little about how their urinary system works. There's no need to give them a full anatomy & physiology lesson, but a brief overview will help them understand what's happening... and why.
Give simple explanations such as how their heart pumps their blood around, and their kidneys work like
"washing machines" to clean their blood, and how the bladder is used to store their "wee".
Ask your child this question: "If you had to wee right now, how would you know?"
Some children will probably reply that they 'feel' it. Some may say they know they feel it because their brain tells them.
If they don't mention their brain, you should point out the connection between their brain and their bladder.
Show them this bedwetting diagram (You can print it out for them too).
This diagram will help them to easily visualize their brain as the "Master Computer" of their body, and that during the day, their
brain and bladder normally "talk" to each other. When the bladder gets full, it sends a message to the brain,
and the brain says "OK, Get Ready", and then it causes the gate to open to let the wee out.
Explain to your child that what's happening at night is that their brain and bladder aren't talking to each other.
One or both of them is sort of "sleeping", when it should be keeping an eye on things, just in case.
But now, they're going to learn to stay a little bit awake at night, and if one them feels it wants to go to the bathroom,
their brain will let them know, just like it does during the day.
Let your child know that he or she is going to practice being in charge of their brain and bladder.
They are the boss, and soon, when their brain and their bladder have learned to keep talking to each other,
they'll all be waking up in a nice dry, warm, comfortable bed.
If Bedwetting Persists
Persistent bedding wetting in a child is far from rare. It can be very upsetting for the child, and it can make extra work for parents, who's lives are very busy anyway. When talking about bedwetting with your child, focus on dryness.
Ask them how they would feel waking up in the morning dry. Ask them what would be different when they wake up dry every day.
Could being dry mean that they could go to sleepovers, or camp, without feeling shy or embarrassed, or not being sad because they no longer need to miss out.
Whenever possible, try to avoid “pull-ups” as a halfway stage as it can confuse the issue. It would be better to put a plastic sheet on the bed and when the child does wet the bed they can help you change it. This way you are also helping them to take some responsibility.
Focusing on dryness, not wetness, introduces the language that is used in the SleepTime Dry Nights audio, and is the start of planting seeds of dryness.
Focus on what they want, which is to wake up dry. For example, you could say to them, “I wonder if tonight is going to be the night that you will be dry, or do you think it will be tomorrow or next week?” or “I wonder how good you will feel waking up dry in the morning”.
The Bedwetting Diagram and Calendar
The diagram provided will give your child a simple explanation of how the body works When explaining the diagram to your child, try asking them this question. “If you wanted to wee right now, how would you know?”
Children often say they feel it. They may say they feel it because their brain tells them. If they don't mention their brain, you should point out the connection between their brain and their bladder. Follow through using the diagram, with arrows to and from the brain and bladder, so they can see and understand the connection.
Put the calendar and the diagram together where your child can see them. Encourage your child to look at the diagram before getting into bed each night, and get them to tell the bladder and brain to communicate while they are sleeping, so they wake up dry in the morning.
Then get them to make a fist with their hand and say "YES" really loudly, three times. By doing this they are sending positive reinforcement to the brain.
Don't Rush It.
Please don't try to rush the process. It may take two or three weeks before you see any improvement. Remember everyone is different. When progress is being made, in so far as there are fewer wet nights and more dry nights, then please focus on the dry nights, don't let your child become discouraged.
Remind them that if they keep practicing they will master it, just like they have mastered so many other things in their lives. While many children become dry quite quickly, it could take up to six months before your child is completely dry. Don't despair, this is perfectly natural, and it's no ones fault.
During the day, parents should ensure that their children have access to a toilet and encourage them to use the toilet when they feel the need to. Don't get them to hold on for too long, and be aware that keeping some urine in the bladder raises the risk of bladder infections. So whenever children go to the toilet during the day, encourage them to finish urinating completely, so they end up with an empty bladder.
It was previously thought that "stopping and starting" was helpful for developing bladder muscles, but continence nurses now say that this technique is no longer recommended for children.
As your children practice their urinary techniques, and listen to the SleepTime Dry Nights audio, they will gain self-mastery. As that happens, their confidence and self-esteem will grow, and you will find that they will be much happier and more relaxed throughout the day.
Please give your child time to practice and gain control. Support your child in the early days, and if you have any questions, please feel free to email me. I will do my best to help.
More tips to help overcome bedwetting.
What else can you do about bedwetting?
Bedwetting is commonly linked to things like nervousness, anxiety, being bullied at school, feeling insecure, family issues etc.
People often feel they'd like to spend some time discussing these other issues that may be contributing to bed-wetting problems.
As a professional psychotherapist, Rosemary has helped hundreds of people (adults and children) get to the bottom of what's really causing bedwetting.
By identifying the root cause of the problem, families also discover ways to solve other issues that they may not have even been aware of. It's often best to discuss these things in person.
If you'd like to arrange an appointment with Rosemary to discuss these things, just email us and we'll get right back to you. |
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